Untitled

triggers: eating disorder, insecurities

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I run my fingers through my hair and stare at my figure in the full body mirror next to the bathroom sink. My body is small, barely making it past 5 ft. I've gained some weight in my thighs and inner arms. My breath shallows and my fingers start to wrap around my wrist. I quickly pull away and move my gaze up to my face, not wanting to risk old habits to make their way back into my life. My round face has a way of making weight gain feel more dramatic than it should be. I hate the way my hair looks right now. I have dark brown hair, almost black. Unlike Janis, my hair has never been dyed but somehow has natural highlights. It’s at that awkward stage of growing out bangs and short hair and sits just below my shoulders. My gaze shifts from my hair to my eyes and then below them, my freckles. My eyes and freckles have always been my biggest insecurities while being my favourite features simultaneously. Monolids and freckles don't exactly fit the Korean beauty standard so I guess I could say my insecurities mainly stem from that, but then again, most people I meet seem to find those features unique and fascinating. I indulge in the hot water for a few more minutes then finish off with a few seconds of cold water.

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The Author: Anonymous